This is a so very common issue with couples and it is fairly easy to resolve. Often we have a preconceived idea based on our own upbringing what roles and responsibilities fall to whom. “Duh!” The reality is we come from different life experience and expectations. The answer is for both of you to write down the roles and responsibilities as you see them. Then talk about them. What are the options. What can we agree with?

I recently had a session with a couple and I was so proud of them! It was realized that they found themselves frustrated with their partner but the expectation had not been communicated. It was broad and not specific. “Can’t you see I need your help here??” They were able to break it down and get more specific as to what help was needed. They were able to get to, “OK, I’m responsible for this and you are responsible for that”. Getting on board as teamwork rather than enemies can be a pretty powerful thing.

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